


I Don't Feel Any Shame, I Won't Apologize

by samsdawson



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, Young Derek, douchebag!Scott, nerdy!derek, popular!Stiles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-07 23:57:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1919004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samsdawson/pseuds/samsdawson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Freshman Derek was terrified of high school, but senior Stiles seemed to lessen the fear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Start

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WILL BE A MULTI-CHAPTER FIC I PROMISE. I'm currently adding this A/N on my phone because I'm not at home. But yes, this will have more chapters for sure.

"What are you looking at, cockroach?" Derek froze. His blood ran cold and he swore he couldn't feel his limbs. He just wanted to get to algebra. So much for a peaceful middle school step-up day. As an eighth grader, Derek had decided to participate in the step-up program, which takes eighth graders and gives them random schedules so they can experience the feel of high school before they actually become high schoolers themselves.

Scott McCall, resident lacrosse captain and super douche, walked up to Derek and slapped his books out of his hand. "Are you deaf?" Derek gulped and shook his head side to side vigorously. "Then what did I say?"

Derek spoke with a dry throat, causing his voice to crack. "W-what are you looking at, c-cockroach?" he quoted. Scott smirked and pointed to the ground beside Derek's fallen books. He knew what that meant. Everyone in Beacon Hills knew Scott McCall's trademark form of punishment. Derek laid down on his back and put his arms and legs up in the air, bent. 

"Good cockroach. Now stay there until I tell you to get up." And with that, Scott made his exit. As Derek laid there, a single tear slid down his cheek, burning his skin. But his vision became occluded by a figure leaning over him. As his eyes focused, he slowly recognized who it was.  
"Need a hand?" Stiles Stilinski smiled down at Derek as he held out a hand to the frightened boy. 

"H-he told me not t-to move," was all Derek could manage to whimper. Stiles sighed and shook his head.

"Get the fuck up, kid." Stiles grabbed Derek by the shoulders and hoisted him onto his feet. Still with a hold on the younger boy, he spoke to Derek. "Hey, look at me. I'll talk to Scott. He can be a real dick sometimes, but he really is a good guy. I've known him for years. Sometimes you just gotta look for the good in people, you know?" Stiles gave Derek a small grin and started to walk away. "Oh, I'm Stiles, by the way." Derek just stood there dumbfounded. The only thing he could remember was how extremely beautiful Stiles was. His perfectly styled hair, the way his clothes hugged his small but toned frame, his perfect ass. It was all on Derek's mind. That was how he fell in love with Stiles.

But that was a year ago.

The alarm clock sounded like a death sentence to fifteen year old Derek Hale. Reading the time as six o'clock, he sat up in his bed and rubbed his eyes. The first day of his freshman year of high school. God, was he excited. Not. But then a single thought came to him. Stiles. The day to come seemed suddenly more bearable. He jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror. He'd been through puberty already, he knew that, but for some reason his facial hair just never seemed to grow. His skin was smooth, also strange, but welcome. He stripped down and got into the shower. The hot water melted away the layer of fatigue and woke him up completely. After he had finished washing himself, he shut off the water and started toweling himself dry. Derek decided to dress like he normally would, not treating it as a special day. After all, it was just another day.


	2. You Again

Stiles had dreamt of this moment his entire life. Senior year of high school was this magical time when you could get away with anything and slack off. You didn't have to take classes seriously and the teachers didn't care either. They just wanted you the hell out. Despite having to worry about being rejected from your dream college, you had it made senior year. Stiles wasn't a self-centered or dull person, but it took a lot to make him think about anything other than himself or the things directly in front of him.

He got out of bed and didn't bother to shower. He just threw on a ratty old Green Day shirt and a pair of ripped skinny jeans and went into the bathroom. He looked himself over in the mirror. Fair complexion, tall cheekbones, and moles dotting his pale skin. He knew he was attractive. After brushing his teeth, he went back to his room to grab his backpack. His father stopped him at the door before he left. 

"Stiles, how are you feeling?" Sheriff John Stilinski asked his son while he was sitting at the table drinking his morning coffee. Being the sheriff, he didn't have much time to see his son, so when he did, he tried to learn as much as possible. He really loved Stiles, but when his mother Claudia passed away, Stiles receded into a shell. The only person allowed in was Scott. He understood that, but it was still difficult seeing his only child so closed up. 

"I have a good feeling about today, Dad." Stiles grinned at his father as he exited the room. John just sighed and continued to read the paper.

Stiles got into his car and turned the key in the ignition. He began to back out of the driveway and proceed down the road. At the first stoplight, he stopped at the red light and began drumming his fingers on the steering wheel to the song playing. He began singing along to 'Are We The Waiting' by Green Day, not realizing his windows were rolled down. He only noticed when he heard a gasp from the car in the lane next to him. He immediately blushed and looked to see who it was. Soon enough, he made eye contact with a young boy in the car's passenger seat. The boy immediately looked away and acted like he hadn't just seen the horrendous concert that had just occurred. Stiles recognized him as the boy he helped in the hallway the year before. But before he could even begin to apologize, the light turned green and the driver of the other car sped away. 

"What could I even have said? He was in a completely different car," Stiles said to himself, instantly making a mental note to not talk to himself out loud again. As he drove away, he thought about the boy. He never even learned his name. But that was going to change. He was sure of it. 

When he arrived at the school, he parked in his usual spot and, sure enough, Scott parked his motorcycle in the spot next to him. Scott stepped off the bike and removed his helmet, approaching Stiles.

"'Sup, fucker?" He grasped Stiles hand and went in for a hug. 

"Already with the profanity? School hasn't even started yet. You gotta learn to dial it back," Stiles laughed as he grabbed his backpack from the backseat of his Jeep. They started walking toward the school. 

"I just can't help it, man. Senior year!" Scott was ecstatic. The school was his to rule this year. "Are you excited?"

Stiles chuckled and responded, "I just can't wait to get out." 

"You said so yourself, it hasn't even started! If I'm gonna dial back the swearing, you're gonna dial up the excitement. This place is ours now!"

"I guess so."

That was when Scott saw Derek walking a few meters ahead. "No fucking way." Stiles coughed. "Sorry, no freaking way. It's the little bitch that didn't listen. Dude, I gotta say something."

"Scott, stop. He hasn't done anything to you." Scott looked at Stiles incredulously. 

"Are you going soft, Stilinski?" 

Stiles shook his head and sighed. "Let's just get to class. No reason to be late the first day."


	3. Wherefore Art Thou

Derek's first class of high school was freshman English with Ms. Blake. She seemed nice enough. She was very young, too. Maybe she'd understand the younger students a bit better. She walked into the room and to her desk, her heels clicking with each step. "Welcome to Beacon Hills High. I'm Jennifer Blake, but that's Ms. Blake to you. I'll be teaching your English class." She wrote her name on the board and turned back to face the class. "I hope I'll enjoy having you all in class. I'm pretty laid back, but I will bust ass if I have to." That made the class giggle. She began pacing around the room, weaving through the rows of desks. "So, this year we will be studying Shakespeare. Particularly his love of the tragic hero." She stopped in front of Derek. "You. What's your name?"

"D-Derek. Derek Hale."

"Okay, D-Derek," she chuckled. "You look like a tragic hero to me. You'll read Romeo today." She walked back up to her desk and pulled out a notebook and pen. "So, Derek, for the remainder of this unit, you'll be reading for Romeo. And class, I don't think I'll have to explain what we'll be reading either. So, who will read for Juliet?" As she said this, a girl with expertly curled blonde hair raised her hand confidently. "And you are?"

The girl cleared her throat to speak. "Erica Reyes, ma'am." Ms. Blake smiled at her and began writing down the characters and actors. Erica turned and winked at Derek. He grinned at her and immediately looked back down at his desk. As the class went on, the other parts were assigned and they began reading. The actors were asked to come to the front of the room and read their parts.

"Not having that, which having, makes them short," spoke Derek as Romeo.

"In love?" answered Isaac Lahey, playing the part of Benvolio.

"Out."

"Of love?"

"Out of her favor, where I am in love." At this moment, Derek thought of Stiles. Why? He had no idea. But that face crept into his thoughts and made him stop. He barely even knew him. So he had saved him once? Big deal. It could have been anyone. But it was Stiles. That had to mean something, didn't it?

He was pulled out of his reverie by Isaac. "Alas, that love, so gentle in his view should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!"

"Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still should, without eyes, see pathways to his will! Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here? Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all. Here's much to do with hate, but more with love. Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate! O any thing, of nothing first create! O heavy lightness! serious vanity! Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms! Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health! Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is! This love feel I, that feel no love in this. Dost thou not laugh?" As Derek finished his monologue, the bell rang.

"Don't forget to read to the end of Scene II for homework; we'll then read it in class. Have a great rest of the day!" Ms. Blake called to the exiting students. "Derek, could I have a word, please. Don't worry, I'll write you a pass." Derek walked to Ms. Blake's desk and pulled up a chair.

"What is it, ma'am?"

"You really put your all into that, didn't you?" Derek blushed. "No, seriously! That was good, even for just classroom reading."

"Thank you, ma'am." Derek smiled. "I've always loved Romeo and Juliet."

"I believe that. That's why I figured you'd like to hear this. Beacon County Players is doing a junior production of Romeo and Juliet and I've been hired as the director. I'd love to see you at auditions." She handed Derek a flyer with the information on it. "Anyway, that's all. Where you headed?" she asked as she pulled out a pass.

"Uh, chemistry with Mr. Harris," answered Derek, consulting his schedule. Ms. Blake chuckled and filled out the pass.

"Have fun with that one." Derek looked frightened. "Don't look like that, kid. He's just a lot to handle."

Derek seemed to calm down a little. "Ms. Blake, I don't know where his room is..." She sighed and looked out into the hallway. Someone caught her eye and she yelled to them. "Get in here!"

Derek's face turned red as the boy walked in and asked, "Yeah, Ms. Blake?"

"Stiles, show Derek to his next class."


	4. Bad Boy

So his name was Derek. Stiles made eye contact with the boy as he walked into Ms. Blake's room. Derek's cheeks were a deep red as he quickly broke the stare and looked away. "Sure thing, Ms. Blake. Be glad to." Stiles gave the teacher a quick smile before speaking to Derek. "C'mon, kid."

Stiles and Derek exited the classroom and began their trek to Mr. Harris's room. Derek was being awkwardly quiet. Stiles sighed and decided to break the silence. "How have you been? Since, you know, the last time we met."

"Y-you remember that?" Derek asked as his blush intensified. Great. Not only did he remember it, but he brought it up, too. 

Stiles chuckled. "Yeah, I do buddy." Derek sighed and wanted to honestly sink into the floor. "But hey, I know it's your first day and everything, but do you wanna get out of here? Go do something besides school. You seem pretty cool."

Derek hadn't expected that. The problem was, though, that as much as he felt he should stay at school, he wanted to leave with Stiles. He didn't know what they would do, but if it was with Stiles, he wouldn't mind. What would his mother think if she found out he skipped school? He wouldn't be going to the next day of school either because he would be dead. She would kill him. And that's before his father gets to him. "Let's go."

"Okay, then. I know a back way out," Stiles answered. "Follow me." So they went. Stiles led Derek to a set of stairs by the men's locker room. As they descended, Stiles held a single finger up to his mouth, signaling Derek to be as quiet as possible. He opened the door at the bottom of the stairs and led Derek into the school's basement. "There's a backdoor down here." Stiles whispered as he turned on his phone's flashlight. He guided them through a maze of shelves and filing cabinets until he reached a door. He handed his phone to Derek as he used his shoulder to push open the rusted hinges. They opened with a smash and the two boys exited into the new-found daylight.

"I don't have a car," Derek said as they walked up a set of stairs to the parking lot.

Stiles smirked and replied, "That's okay, I do." So they walked through the parking lot and made their way to Stiles's car. Once inside, Derek rummaged for something in his backpack. When he pulled out a carton of cigarettes and a lighter, he caught Stiles's attention again.

Derek noticed this and asked, "Oh, sorry. Do you mind?" Stiles laughed.

"You have to share. Driver's fee." So Derek pulled two cigarettes out and handed one to Stiles. He rolled down his window and lit up. He handed the lighter to Stiles. Derek took a drag and let the smoke fill his lungs. "So, little boy's not so innocent after all."

Derek smirked and took another drag. "Don't feel like quitting. It's a nice escape from my parents." Stiles just laughed and kept driving. "Where are we going anyway?"

"My house. Dad's the sheriff, so he'll be at the station. We'll have all day," Stiles said back. When they reached the house, Stiles parked the car and walked to the house, Derek at his heels. They went upstairs to Stiles's room.

Stiles rummaged in his desk drawer for a container and then looked at Derek. "You smoke weed?" Derek hesitated. 

"Uh, I don't know. I never have before." 

Stiles walked over with what Derek assumed to be a bong. He wasn't completely sheltered. He explained to Derek how to use the bong and showed him an example. He lit the bowl with his lighter and inhaled a little. He quickly pulled out the bowl and let the smoke just flood his lungs. He held it in for around twenty seconds. He exhaled slowly and gave Derek a goofy smile. "Your turn, man." So Derek did just what he was shown. Minus coughing a few times, he actually enjoyed it. So he did it again. And again.

Three hours had passed and school had just let out. Or so it would have if they had been there. They'd be too busy eating Sheriff Stilinski out of house and home and making great realizations that otherwise would have been commonplace had they not been high. Derek had been eyeing Stiles the entire time. But he accidentally let out the words he wanted to keep in.

"I really want to kiss you right now." That made Stiles freeze, a Dorito hanging out of his mouth. He reached up and grabbed the Dorito, setting on the table in front of them and turned to Derek.

"What did you say?"

"It was nothing, forget it. I'm just being dumb." is what Derek would have said had Stiles not interrupted him with his lips. The kiss didn't last long and it wasn't very involved, but it was sweet. When Stiles pulled away, Derek sat there astounded. Never would he have thought that Stiles would actually kiss him. He thought it would just be some teenage fantasy he would hold onto for the rest of his life. But it had happened. "I have to go. Thank you for having me over." Derek stood up and made a beeline for the door.

"Derek, wait!" Stiles shouted after him, but Derek had already run out the front door. On the walk home, he thought about what had just happened. But he realized one important fact. He was still absolutely stoned.

He was totally fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They say write about what you know. Guess I know a thing or two about that, huh? (;


	5. Screwed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, guys, but I had to cut down the number of Hale children to be relevant to the story! Sorry about not including Cora!

“I’m screwed,” Derek moaned aloud as he kicked a large piece of gravel down the street he was walking. It was nearly five-thirty in the afternoon and he had skipped school to get high with a senior. His mother would kill him. That is, if she knew. Derek was going to rely on the hope that she hadn’t spoken to anyone about the first day of school yet.

Talia Hale wasn’t an unreasonable woman. She had her moments as a calm, caring, motherly woman towards her two children, Derek and Laura. Derek, being the youngest, always had a much more sensitive place in her heart, but because he was the youngest, that meant she also had higher expectations for her only son. She was a gorgeous woman, with flowing black hair and deep brown eyes. Her tall bone structure gave her a permanently confident look and made her seem like someone of royal heritage. And Derek was absolutely terrified of her.

“Maybe I could just go back to Stiles?” Derek thought aloud, now pacing back and forth on the side of the road. As he voiced his thought though, he immediately thought back to what had just occurred and stood still, head in hands. “God, no! I can’t do that.” He resumed pacing and continued running over his options. Finally, he came to the conclusion that he had to go home. “I have to do it. It’s now or never and if I don’t come home, it will be even worse.” So he started his journey to the solitary house in the Beacon Hills Nature Preserve.

Walking through the dense forest gave Derek time to think of what he would say given whatever situation he was faced with upon arrival. It could go one of two ways: “Derek, where have you been?!” or “Derek, why weren’t you at school today?!” He was ready to face both of those answers. Finally, he arrived to the clearing where the Hale house was located. The dirt path that led there was big enough for a car, so he followed it all the way there. He pulled out his house key and unlocked the front door, preparing himself for the barrage of questions awaiting him inside. He stepped into the house as quietly as possible.

“Derek, honey, could you come help with the dishes, please?” He heard his mother call him from the kitchen and he instantly moved in that direction. Once there, he stood next to her at the sink and began trembling. “How was school today, sweetheart?”

Definitely not the question Derek was expecting. He took a deep breath in and fabricated a thorough yet not too detailed report of how his day went. His mother nodded her head throughout the story and when he finished, she smiled.

“I’m glad it went so well, little wolf.” She finished the last of the dishes and dried her hands on a nearby dish-towel. “Now, it’s time for you to head to bed. Goodnight, Derek.” She kissed him on the forehead and went up the stairs towards her bedroom. Derek released a deep sigh of relief. His phone buzzed in his back pocket and he fished it out to see he had received a text from Stiles. He didn’t remember getting Stiles’s number or even giving his number to Stiles, but he opened the message.

"Look, before you get scared, I put my number in your phone before you left here, okay. I just wanted to say it didn’t mean anything to me if it didn’t to you. God, that sounds so shitty but I don’t know how else to say it. I know we were both high, but I thought I felt something. But if you didn’t, I probably didn’t either. If you want, we can forget anything ever happened. I’d like to still know you, but what happened this afternoon can be some forgotten dream, okay? Anyway… That’s really all I can say without sounding even dumber. Sorry."

Derek didn’t know how to respond. As much as he would love to tell Stiles he felt everything, what would everyone else think? His mother. Oh, God, his mother would die. His father would then proceed to kill him. And then he realized. They were the only two people who would care. He didn’t have friends to lose. His cheeks felt hot and he instantly felt embarrassed for himself. A few steady tears found their way down Derek’s cheeks as he ran up to his room, slammed the door, and flung himself down on the bed. He grabbed a pillow and started shouting profusely into it.

Outside Derek’s closed door, Laura Hale stood with her back against the wall, knowing she couldn’t console him no matter how much she wanted to. It would only hurt his pride and embarrass him further. So she stood listening to her only brother cry himself to sleep, her heart breaking more and more with each passing second.


	6. Bad Luck

Derek awoke the next morning with red eyes and a heavy heart. He checked the clock on his bedside table. 4:30 AM. He still had a few hours before he needed to start getting ready for school. He let the events of the day before zoom through his head. A sickening pain began to form in his stomach but he knew it was only nerves. He had kissed Stiles. Well, Stiles had kissed him. The feeling of Stiles’s lips hadn’t left his mind since the moment it happened. Warm, slightly chapped and exactly what Derek wanted. He also tasted like Doritos. After everything that happened, Derek still couldn’t wait to see Stiles again. He decided to text Stiles.

“So I’m sorry for not answering you. I just had to think a lot about… things. What did you feel? I have to know. Bc I don’t know what I felt. I need you to help me out with this one.”

When he hit the send button, he immediately regretted it and threw his phone to the other side of the room, causing a giant thud to resonate from the wall. Derek got up to examine his phone and saw a massive hole in the drywall. His eyes went wide and his hands covered his mouth as a stood in fear of the damage he had accidentally caused.

“What the hell is going on?” A voice sounded from outside Derek’s door. Talia Hale was not a morning person. “I swear to God, if you broke anything, Derek Hale, it will be the last thing you ever do.” Derek’s heart began to beat a mile a minute as he scrambled to find something to cover the hole in the wall. He decided on a band poster and stuck it in front of the hole just as Talia walked in. “What are you doing? It’s almost five in the morning!”

“I…” Derek tried to come up an excuse, then realized he had the perfect one. “I dropped my phone.” He said as he bent to pick it up and show Talia the proof. She narrowed her eyes.

“All the way on the opposite side of your room?” She questioned.

“It happens,” was all Derek responded. Talia groaned and left the room. Derek ran and jumped back into his bed, snuggling underneath the blanket as though his life depended on it. What the hell had just happened? He let thoughts of what had just occurred run through his head as he drifted back to sleep.

The alarm was not an inviting sound for Derek at 6:30 in the morning. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, wanting very much to lay back down and not get up until the day had passed. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and got up, quietly making his way to the bathroom for his morning shower. He shivered once his feet touched the cold tiles of the bathroom. While waiting for the water to heat up, Derek glanced in the mirror. He gave his tired face a once over, noting the ever present bags under his eyes. He sighed and started stripping out of his clothes. He had one leg out of his boxers and was balanced attempting to take the other out as well when he felt gravity a little too much on his right side and slammed his face onto the corner of the sink. He shrieked in pain as he clutched his face, writhing naked on the floor. 

The door burst open as Laura yelled, “What happened? OH, MY GOD.” Laura covered her eyes as she screamed from the sight of her naked brother. She used her peripheral vision to find a towel and throw it on him so she could actually see what the problem was. “What the hell did you do?!”

“I was trying to take my underwear off and I fell and I think I’m blind!” Derek screamed through the tears. His eye felt like the fires of the underworld. He slowly stood up, making sure to hide himself with the towel and stared at his swollen eye in the mirror. His eye, a very vibrant pinkish-red, was puffy and angry. “Oh, my god.” Laura swiftly left Derek by himself, shutting the door.

Derek decided to wear sunglasses on the way to school that day. He walked into the building, receiving several odd stares but he didn’t care. He just wanted to get to his class and avoid any- “DEREK!” Stiles ran to catch up with the younger boy. When he finally matched his stride, he looked at Derek and stopped. “Why… are you wearing sunglasses?” Derek sighed and removed his shades. Stiles’s jaw dropped and he released a guttural laugh. “How the HELL did you do that?” Derek groaned.

“I fell.”

“That’s it? You fell?” Stiles was nearly in tears now. “Damn, Hale, you must have the worst luck!”

“Yeah, I guess I do,” Derek snapped and began to walk faster. Stiles stopped laughing and quickened his pace to match Derek’s.

“Woah, woah, woah. What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

Derek stopped and turned to face Stiles. “What do you mean, ‘What’s wrong?’ You kissed me!”

“In my defense, you said you wanted to.” Stiles retorted.

“I was on dr-“ Derek lowered his voice to a whisper. “I was on drugs! Stiles, that’s wrong!”

Stiles looked down and mumbled, “I’m sorry.” Derek sighed

“I have to get to class.” Derek walked away, leaving Stiles standing in the hallway alone as the bell began to ring.


	7. Blush

“Tell me, what family of elements does fluorine belong to?” Mr. Harris’s voice droned from the front of the classroom as Stiles sat in his usual spot at the back of the room, hiding his phone beneath the desk while he texted Scott. He wasn’t surprised when Lydia was the first shoot her hand into the air. “Yes, Miss Martin?”

“That would be the family of halogens, sir.” Mr. Harris chuckled a bit and wrote down Lydia’s participation points on the clipboard he kept on his desk.

“Correct. However, might I ask the rest of you to put forth at least a fraction of the effort that Miss Martin does each day in class? Such as you, Mr. Stilinski.” Stiles’s head snapped up as he dropped his phone on the floor, resulting a loud thud. “And you may deposit that on my desk. Come see me at the end of class.” Stiles groaned as he picked up his phone from the ground and stood to walk to Mr. Harris’s desk. As he made the dreaded walk to the front of the classroom, he made eye contact with Lydia. She smirked at him and shrugged as if to say he deserved what he got. Rolling his eyes, he set his phone down on Harris’s desk and hurried back to his desk, waiting for that wonderful moment when the bell would release him from this hell.

When that moment came, he promptly stood and put his backpack straps over his shoulders and charged to the front of the room to collect his phone. Mr. Harris was seated at his desk. “Mr. Stilinski, I’m faced with a dilemma.” Stiles stopped reaching for his phone. “It is the second day of school and you have already missed one class period and spent half of the other on your beloved cell phone. What am I to do? Detention?” Stiles inhaled sharply. “But it’s only the second day of school, they won’t have detention assignments this early. I suggest you shape up your act or things will be very difficult for you in this class. Your foolish charm has no effect on me.” Stiles hastily grabbed his phone and power-walked to the door. “Oh, Mr. Stilinski?” Stiles froze. “Have a good day.”

 

After the final bell, Stiles met up with Scott on the steps of the school. “Dude, what the hell happened to you today?” Scott asked as they sat on the top step.

“Mr. Harris happened to me.” And Scott shut up. He knew how brutal Mr. Harris could be. “Anyway, what are we doing today? I need to relax, man.”

“We could smoke,” suggested Scott. Stiles shook his head. “Dude, we don’t really do anything else.”

“Mall,” was all Stiles said. Scott nodded his head and they got up. During this exchange, Derek was walking down the main hallway with Erica, who was talking about her plans for the day.

“Derek, you should totally come with me to the mall!” Erica grabbed Derek’s hands and started pulling him to the main doors. Derek resisted as best he could, but ended up giving in.

“Oh, alright,” Derek conceded. He texted his dad to tell him where he would be for the rest of the day. Erica’s mother gave them a ride to the mall and they began their shopping spree.

 

Stiles was looking at shirts from Forever21 while Scott got them some pretzel bites from a nearby Auntie Anne’s kiosk. He found a blue and grey striped shirt that he somewhat liked and began to examine it. Then he saw the price tag and laughed. He slowly set it down and backed up. He decided to go meet up with Scott and check on his pretzel progress. As he turned to head to the exit, he bumped shoulders with a smaller boy entering the store. “Sorry about that,” Stiles began to say but stopped when he saw just who he had bumped into. Derek Hale lay flat on the ground, rubbing his head. He looked up and made eye contact with Stiles.

“Oh. Stiles.” Derek looked at Stiles’s outstretched hand and debated taking it or not. He finally gave in and took the other boy’s hand, standing up. He wiped his clothes down and mumbled a quick thank you to Stiles. A blonde girl that Stiles didn’t recognize caught up with them and stopped, obviously noticing the tension between. Derek’s cheeks turned red as he looked up at Stiles. Stiles smiled at him. “I have to go. Text me?” Derek asked. Stiles nodded and let him go. Derek walked away with the blonde girl, who obviously was grilling him for information about what the hell had just happened. It seemed that Scott saw the whole encounter as well.

“What the fuck was that?” Scott hissed as he approached Stiles with their pretzels. Stiles stuttered for a few seconds, not being able to form the right words to explain what actually had taken place. “Was he blushing? Were you flirting? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing happened, man. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Stiles responded as calmly as he could.

“The way he looked at you and blushed. The way you smiled. You’re trying to tell me that nothing happened between you two?” Scott directed them to a nearby bench and sat down. Stiles sat next to him and sighed, wringing his hands. “You need to get real with me right now, Stiles.”

Stiles opened his mouth as if to say something, but waited a few moments before actually speaking. “We kissed.” Scott’s eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. “We kissed and we got stoned together on the first day of school and I haven’t actually spoken to him since.”

“What. The. Hell.” Scott emphasized the space between each word. He stood and looked at Stiles. “I don’t even know what to say. He’s a dude. You’re a dude,” Scott stumbled over his words. “I have to go. I’ll walk.” And Stiles was alone. He seemed to be left alone a lot recently.

 

Erica stopped walking once they were a good distance away from Stiles. “Okay. Explain.” Derek huffed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay so basically Stiles and I skipped the end of the first day of school and we went to his house because no one was home because his dad is the sheriff and he works all day and he got me to smoke weed with him and I got super stoned and I said I wanted to kiss him and he kissed me and then I left and I don’t know what to do anymore.” Derek finished, out of breath. Erica was stunned. It was a lot of information to process.

“You kissed the sheriff’s son?” was all Erica took from what she was told. “That is so hot, oh my god!”

“No, it’s not! I kissed a boy! I don’t even know if I like boys!” Derek explained, frustrated by her narrow-mindedness. “This is kind of difficult to process!”

“Did you like it?” Erica asked. Derek stopped. He hadn’t thought much about whether he enjoyed it or not. He only thought about the implications of it.

“Yes. No. I don’t know,” Derek said, even though he knew he did enjoy it.

“Well, until you decide how it made you feel, you can’t write it off. Not yet.” Erica responded in a know-it-all tone of voice. “Now, c’mon, we still have daylight left to shop.” She grabbed Derek’s hand and dragged him to a new store.


	8. Friends

“Dad, can I ask you something?” Sheriff Stilinski looked up from his dinner at this son. Stiles was sitting behind his plate with an undecipherable expression on his face. He wondered what was on Stiles’s mind.

“Sure, son.” 

“If there’s something that makes me happy and it’s not hurting anyone but it’s causing me to lose someone close to me because they don’t agree, what should I do?” Stiles’s expression became recognizable after he finished speaking. Sad. John sighed and set down his fork, the clink of metal on ceramic chiming through the room. He thought for a moment and began to speak.

“Stiles, you need to take care of yourself. Make yourself first priority. You said it made you happy and it’s not hurting anyone?” Stiles nodded. “Then why the hell do care what anyone else thinks? If you’re happy and they can’t be happy for you, to hell with them. They aren’t your friend. I know you might be thinking that I’m crazy, but believe me, you need to surround yourself with people who are happy with your happiness. But that means you have to be able to return the sentiment.” John finished his speech and Stiles nodded slowly, as if trying to process the information 

“So… I’m going to go to bed now. I’m really tired. I love you, Dad.” Stiles said as he hastily put his dishes in the sink and ran upstairs to his room. John sat there astonished. Stiles hadn’t told him that he loved him in years. 

Meanwhile, Stiles sat at his desk with his phone in his hand, shaking his foot anxiously. He wanted to text Derek but he knew he needed to text Scott. Scott seemed really freaked out at the mall and he needed to check on his best friend. So he decided instead to call him and sort things out. He found Scott’s contact in his phone and hit the call button. He waited through two rings before Scott picked up.

“Stiles,” was Scott’s only word. Stiles gulped.

“Hey, buddy.” Stiles half-chuckled. “How you doing?”

“I’m…” Scott sighed. “I’m confused.” 

“Confused by what?” Stiles asked.

“You. I thought we knew everything about each other. I thought we had no secrets. I feel like I don’t know Stiles anymore.” Scott stopped. 

“Scott, listen to me. I don’t know what’s going on with me either. I just need help figuring it out. I don’t want to lose you, man. We’ve been through too much together to ruin it over something this trivial. Please, just come over and we can talk about it.” Stiles begged.

“I need some time, Stiles. You’re different. I need to get used to it. I’m sorry.” Scott ended the call and left Stiles with his phone to his ear, shaking. He used what little strength he had left to text the only person who knew him as well as Scott did.

 

**TO: Malia Tate**

_hey can you come over?_

**Delivered at 9:48 P.M.**

 

And there was instantly a reply.

 

**FROM: Malia Tate**

_yes of course. be there in 10._

**Read at 9:49 P.M.**

 

Stiles sank lower into his leather rolling chair and let out a shaky breath, waiting for Malia.

 

* * *

 

Derek had been watching his phone for as long as he had been home. Erica’s mother had dropped him off after they were done shopping. He immediately went to his room, throwing aside the bags of clothes he had purchased that day. He flopped onto his bed and put his phone in front of him. He remained there for the remainder of the evening until his phone buzzed. He hurriedly grabbed his phone, fumbling with it several times in the process. He unlocked the smartphone and went to the new message.

 

**FROM: Isaac Lahey**

_hey man, what are you doing?_

**Read at 9:48 P.M.**

 

**TO: Isaac Lahey**

_chilling at home. whats up?_

**Delivered at 9:48 P.M.**

 

**FROM: Isaac Lahey**

_can i come over? need to get out of the house._

**Read at 9:49 P.M.**

 

**TO: Isaac Lahey**

_of course, come on over._

**Delivered at 9:50 P.M.**

 

Derek began to straighten up his room for Isaac’s arrival. After he deemed it satisfactory, he went to tell his mother. Talia was in the kitchen, cleaning up the aftermath of dinner at the Hale house.

“You weren’t at dinner, Derek.” Talia remarked, not looking up from the plate she was washing. Derek picked up a plate and stood beside her, using a clean dish towel to wipe at the food that remained on the dish.

“I was sort of tired but I’m okay now, Mom,” Derek replied. He tried to think of a good way to bring up having a friend over this late. “I think Isaac Lahey is coming over.” Talia stopped her dishwashing.

“Is he, now?” she asked. “When was this decided?” Derek sighed

“I think he’s having a tough time at home tonight,” Derek explained. “Unless he really needed to get out of his house, he wouldn’t have texted me this late at night. Please, Mom?”

Talia thought about the situation. If there really was a reason that Isaac needed to be out of his house, she couldn’t say no. “From now, you have to make you sure you ask at least a day in advance. It’s very inconvenient. But yes, he can come. Make up a guest room for him.” Derek thanked his mother and ran off to get Isaac’s room ready.

 

* * *

 

Malia walked into Stiles’s room to see him sitting in his computer chair. “Stiles?” she called tentatively. He looked up at her pathetically, like a dog that had been scolded by its owner. “I know that look. What’s going on?” 

Malia sat down on Stiles’s bed and crossed her arms. Stiles took a wheezing breath. “Scott won’t talk to me.”

“Yeah, well, you know how Scott can be. He’s your polar opposite. He’ll bitch and moan for a while but then he always comes back because you’re his best friend.” Malia offered her thoughts on the situation. 

“It’s different this time,” Stiles nearly whispered, pain evident in his voice.

“What makes this time different than any other?”

“I kissed a boy.”

Malia definitely did not expect that answer. “Okay… I can see why Scott might not be too keen on that thought. But that’s no reason for you to feel bad. Come here.” Malia stood and opened her arms. Stiles got up from his place of sadness and accepted her hug. “Keep your head up. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“My dad was talking about people like you earlier,” Stiles said, his voice muffled by the hug. “He talked about the people in my life that cared about my happiness and were happy for me. It reminded me of someone at the time and I’m just now realizing it was you.” Malia smiled and hugged him a little tighter.

“I’m always going to be on your side. I mean, so long as you aren’t being an asshole,” she laughed. This got a chuckled from Stiles. She directed them to the bed and they both laid down. “So who is this boy?”

“His name is Derek Hale. He’s a freshman.” 

“Isn’t that a little bit young?” Malia asked.

“You always forget that I’m younger than the rest of you,” Stiles responded. It was true. Stiles was still seventeen while the rest of his classmates were eighteen, some even nineteen. “And he’s what? Fifteen? Sixteen? That’s not bad.” 

“True,” Malia agreed. “Is he cute?” Stiles felt his face flush.

“I guess. I mean, before any of this happened, I didn’t think about boys.” Stiles knew that wasn’t true, but he said it anyway. He’d admired the male figure for as long as he could imagine, but never thought twice about it. He would usually sneak a few peeks in the locker room but didn’t everyone? “But yeah, he is.”

“Well, at least you have good taste,” Malia said as she pulled up Derek’s Instagram profile on her phone. “Wait. Why does he have a picture with Laura Hale? Oh, God.” Stiles snatched the phone and looked at the picture of Derek with Laura. They were both smiling, white teeth shining in the sunlight. The resemblance was uncanny. How could he not have noticed it? Derek is Laura’s little brother. Laura Hale, the most popular senior girl at Beacon Hills High School. And he kissed her brother.

 

* * *

 

Isaac arrived around ten o’clock with a bag of clothes in one hand and an icepack in the other. Derek asked no questions as he invited him inside and asked if he wanted anything to eat. Isaac politely denied the offer and asked to be shown to a bathroom. Derek obliged and led Isaac up the stairs. He told Isaac that he would be waiting in his own room when he was done. Isaac nodded and shut the bathroom door. Derek returned to his room and got an extra chair out of the closet for Isaac to sit. When Isaac returned, his icepack was gone and he had changed into pajamas.

“Thank you for letting me come over,” Isaac simply stated. He moved to the chair and sat down.

“It’s no problem at all, really,” Derek smiled. “Do you want to watch TV? Or we could watch YouTube videos? It’s up to you.”

Isaac smiled meekly. “I don’t mind. What kind of YouTube videos do you watch?”

“Any, really. If I find someone that makes good videos, no matter what they’re about, I’ll subscribe. Here, I’ll show you some.” Derek made his way to the chair in front of his desk on which sat his iMac computer. After a few clicks and some typing, he was playing a video for Isaac. One video turned into forty or so and Derek and Isaac were reduced to laughing messes. Derek had to wipe tears from his eyes several times. Isaac looked so carefree and happy. It was a change from the Isaac that had arrived earlier that night. After the last video, Derek clicked the red ‘x’ in the corner of the web browser.

“Isaac, can I tell you something?” Derek asked. Isaac turned his chair to face Derek and nodded his head. 

“Yeah, of course.” 

“I kissed a boy. A senior boy. And I liked it.” Derek held his breath after this confession. Isaac just smiled.

“That’s kind of awesome. A senior? Damn, Hale.” Isaac held his hand up for a high-five and Derek awkwardly high-fived him back.

“You don’t find that weird?” Derek asked, raising an eyebrow at the curly-haired boy.

“Not at all. You kissed someone. Big deal.” Isaac shrugged. “You’re getting more than I am.” Derek laughed. “So who was it?”

“Stiles Stilinski,” Derek answered and Isaac’s jaw dropped.

“Stiles?! He’s so attractive,” Isaac nearly shouted. “I’d kiss him.”

“Well, technically, he kissed me,” Derek bragged. Isaac just shook his head in awe. Derek’s attention was redirected when he heard his phone buzz. He stood and walked to the bed to retrieve it.

 

**FROM: Stiles Stilinski**

_hey ;)_

**Read at 11:34 P.M.**

 


	9. Miscommunication

**FROM: Stiles Stiliniski**

_hey ;)_

**Read at 11:34 P.M.**

Derek stared at the message he had just received for several seconds before being brought back to reality by Isaac asking, “What’s going on?” He moved beside Derek on the bed and propped himself up on his elbows. Derek held his phone out so Isaac could read the text. “Woah.”

“Yeah,” Derek said. His breath became shaky as he frantically turned to Isaac. “What do I do?” Isaac flailed his hands.

“Why are you asking me? I’ve never even kissed anyone before! How am I supposed to tell you what to do when you get a flirty text from the hottest senior in our school?!” Isaac was breathing hard now, having said all that he said at such a great pace. Derek just looked at his phone in awe. Stiles texted him a winky face. Part of him wanted to jump up and down and scream at the top of his lungs that he was so happy and another part wanted to throw his phone and cry. He’d never felt this way before. No one had made him feel like this before. Ever. Derek wasn’t a very sexual being. He never thought about people that way. He didn’t feel lust toward anyone. He usually saw a person as just that. A person. A person with a personality that made them worth being around. Laura always made fun of him for his detachment from people. She would tease him for not having crushes like normal teenagers would. Maybe it was because Laura was usually the object of affection. Everyone loved Laura. From her blonde hair that fell in loose curls past her shoulder blades to her long legs and slim figure, she was what everyone wanted or wanted to be. Derek was quite the opposite. He was slim like Laura but he was too tall and looked very lanky. His jet black wasn’t very long but still covered his forehead and sometimes fell into his eyes. He wasn’t comparable to her in any way and that was part of the reason he felt the need to distance himself from her. Why didn’t Stiles like her? She’d be the better Hale for him.

“Derek? You there?” Isaac asked, waving a hand in front of Derek’s face. Derek shook his head and apologized. “That was weird. You kind of just zoned out for five minutes. Are you going to answer him?”

“I need to do something first,” Derek responded. “I’ll be right back.” He got up and all but ran from the room and down the hall. He slowed when he got to Laura’s bedroom door. He knocked twice and waited for a reply. He heard a muffled ‘come in!’ from the other side and turned the knob.

Laura’s room was disgustingly pink. Pink walls, pink carpet, even a pink desk. She sat cross-legged on her pink bed in her pink nightgown and looked up from the notebook she was writing in, which so happened to be pink. She had her hair piled messily in a bun on top of her head, held in place by a pink hair-tie. “Ah, Baby Brother! To what do I owe the pleasure, you brooding adolescent?” She flashed him a smile as he walked in and sat on the edge of her bed.

“What do you know about Stiles Stilinski?” he asked her after a long silence. Laura furrowed her brow and bit absentmindedly at the end of the pink pen she was using.

“Why do you ask?”

“I just do. What do you know?”

“I know he’s a giant goofball. He has a good heart though. He hangs around with Scott McCall though. He’s a real asshole. I don’t see how Stiles puts up with him. He also hangs around Malia Tate a lot. She seems nice enough but, to tell you the truth, she scares me. She’s very ‘in-your-face.’ He’s a good guy.” Laura exhaled. “Why do you want to know?”

Derek’s cheeks flushed. Laura’s eyes widened.

“BABY BROTHER HAS A CRUSH!” Laura clapped her hands and bounced up and down. “I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY. HAVE YOU TALKED TO HIM YET?”

“More than talked…” Derek remarked to himself. Laura promptly shut up.

“What does that mean?” The sharpness in her tone could’ve cut like a knife. “What did he do to you?”

“Well,” Derek fumbled with his words. “We may have, you know, kissed once.”

“WHAT?” Laura screeched and grabbed Derek by the shoulders. “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? IT’S ONE THING TO LIKE HIM, IT’S ANOTHER TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! HE’S IN MY GRADE, DEREK.”

“God, Laura, stop shaking me! It hurts!” Derek yelled. _Definitely don’t mention the drugs_ , Derek thought. “I didn’t mean for it to happen! It just did! And now I can’t stop thinking about him and his stupid face.” Laura let go of his shoulders and took a deep breath in.

“I’m sorry. I lost my cool.” Laura exhaled slowly and asked, “Is he nice to you?”

“Yeah, actually, he is,” Derek answered. She cracked a small smile and brushed some loose hair out of her face.

“Good. Otherwise, I’d have to hurt him,” she laughed. So did Derek. He tried imagining Laura hurting Stiles. He could. It was scary. “Do you still talk to him?”

Derek thought of the text he just received. “Sometimes. I really didn’t know how to react in the beginning. I kind of pushed him away. But he kept coming back.”

“Well, if he keeps coming even when you look like that,” Laura motioned to his still bruised eye, “then you better keep him.”

“I guess so.”

Laura examined her perfectly painted pink nails and spoke. “It’s hard to find a good guy these days. Don’t blow it.”

Derek chuckled. “Well, I should probably go. Isaac is waiting for me.”

Laura shook her head and laughed, “Baby Brother, you are a handful.”

“Thanks, Laura.” He exited the room and made his way to his own. Isaac had his back to the doorway sitting on Derek’s bed. He had his shirt pulled up and was examining several giant purple-black bruises littered across his pale torso. “Isaac?”

Isaac immediately pulled his shirt back down. “How’d it go?” He turned around and looked at Derek. His eyes pleaded Derek not to ask about what he just saw.

“It, um, it went well. I think Laura approved.” He really couldn’t tell how the conversation left off. She was very vocal when it came to her emotions. She sometimes forgot to actually voice what she was thinking, not what she was feeling.

Isaac grinned slightly. “Well, that’s good news! Have you texted him back yet?”

Derek swore under his breath. He knew he had forgotten something.

 

“He hasn’t answered yet.” Stiles shook his phone violently and exhaled. Malia put her hand on his to abruptly stop his convulsions. She held her hand there until she could feel his muscles stop contracting.

“You don’t know what’s happening on his side. Relax,” Malia sighed. She stood up from the bed and stretched her arms in the air. She turned back to Stiles. “Besides, you’re the upperclassman. You should be calm.”

“So? That means nothing! Feelings are weird! When you like someone, the laws of society go flying out the window. Nothing makes sense anymore and you feel anxious ALL the time.” Stiles huffed and threw his phone to the foot of the bed. “God, this is so unfair.”

Then his phone buzzed.

 

**FROM: Derek Hale**

_what’s up?_

**Read at 11:58 P.M.**

Stile’s mouth hung open as Malia read over his shoulder. She slapped him upside the back of the head and said, “Text him back, idiot.” Stiles’s fingers flew over the screen of his phone as he whipped up a response. As soon as he hit the ‘send’ button, he dropped his phone and let out an exasperated sigh.

“Malia.”

“Yeah?”

“Why is this so difficult?”

“Because you’re an idiot. But you’re my idiot, and I’m here for you.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Really.”


End file.
